


Stark Industries: An American Workplace

by fourdaysofrain



Series: Irondad Bingo! [2]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Office (US)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - The Office Fusion, Crack Treated Seriously, F/M, Fluff, but sometimes it be like that, yeah im college white trash haha
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-31
Updated: 2020-04-27
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:21:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22050211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fourdaysofrain/pseuds/fourdaysofrain
Summary: “No, I don’t--” The corner of Peter’s mouth twitches down and he looks at something behind the camera. “Mr. Stark doesn’t treat me any differently than the other employees. I don’t know why everyone says he does.” He tugs his sleeve down his wrist and looks to the side. “I’m the receptionist, so he has to talk to me more to like, plan his calendar and stuff.”---The Office!AU (For the "AU: TV/Movie" square in Irondad Bingo)
Relationships: Michelle Jones/Peter Parker, Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Series: Irondad Bingo! [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1503167
Comments: 108
Kudos: 464





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So basically, I wrote this in mourning for The Office being taken off of Netflix, but then I looked it up and realized it's getting taken off in 2021, not 2020.  
> So, yeah. I went through the five stages of grief and all I got was this self-indulgent fanfiction.

“No, I don’t--” The corner of Peter’s mouth twitches down and he looks at something behind the camera. “Mr. Stark doesn’t treat me any differently than the other employees. I don’t know why everyone says he does.” He tugs his sleeve down his wrist and looks to the side. “I’m the receptionist, so he has to talk to me more to like, plan his calendar and stuff.”

* * *

“Peter and Tony?” Flash’s eyes are wide and his hands flow in tune with his words. “First of all, he’s the only one who still calls him ‘Mr. Stark.’ Like, what is that? Even Ned calls him Tony now. He’s a really cool boss.” 

_The camera cuts to Flash hesitating outside of Tony’s office._

“Seriously, it’s crazy. Things are so chill here.”

_Flash walks to the door and puts his hand on the knob, ready to open, but jerks away and waves awkwardly when he sees Betty walking towards him._

“Zuckerberg wants what we have.”

* * *

Ned makes eye contact with a camera and motions for it to look at Peter. It pans and zooms onto the front desk, showing Peter tapping a pencil on his desk and staring into the distance. The camera follows his eyesight to MJ’s desk, where she is working on a hologram quietly. She looks at the camera, then flicks her eyes over to Peter and smirks. Peter drops his pencil and starts typing something into the keyboard.

The camera returns to Ned, who is stifling a laugh. He makes a heart with his hands and then mimes wiping a tear away from his cheek. Just behind him, on the edge of being out of view, Tony’s shoulders are shaking with mirth. 

* * *

“Peter Parker?” Tony Stark leans back in his chair and eyes the camera cooly. “Doesn’t ring a bell.”

He grins as his eyes flick between the lens and something slightly to the left. “C’mon, I’m kidding, of course. I know all my employees.” His smile slowly softens as he adjusts his position before looking back to the camera. He clears his throat. “Peter Parker, he’s a recent hire. Not the newest though, Ned’s the newest-- Pete joined the team about half a year ago when I needed an extra set of hands. He’s got a good head on his shoulders.” 

Tony idly scratches his jaw. 

“He’s the receptionist, but I’ve seen what he can do when you put him in front of some tech. I’m keeping an eye on him.”

* * *

Peter’s busy fiddling with the highlighters in his cup when the door opens. He looks up and hesitates when he sees it’s Michelle. After a moment, he gives her a smile, which she returns easily. She heads directly to his desk and leans on the edge. 

“What is it today- yellow with blue or green with pink?” she asks as she leans over the outer façade of the reception desk and takes a highlighter from his pile. She twiddles it in her hands and looks at Peter through her lashes. 

He smiles at her and adds another highlighter to the cup. “Um, I’m actually trying a new thing today: all yellow.”

“Adventurous.”

“They only hire the best at Stark Industries,” Peter says with a smirk. 

Michelle laughs and tosses the highlighter back to him. 

* * *

“Peter’s smarter than at least half the R&D department here at SI, but for some reason, Tony wants to keep him as a receptionist rather than, I don’t know, a top engineer.” Michelle juts her chin out at the camera. “What? They’re really bad at trying to hide it. They do this thing, where whenever someone has a really shitty issue with one of their projects, Tony calls a meeting that Peter doesn’t go to, and then it’s magically fixed by the time we get out.” She rolls her eyes. “Then they both act like it just fixed itself. It’s ridiculous.”

Michelle sits quietly for a moment before adding, “What’s more ridiculous is _how many_ _times_ they’ve done it.”

* * *

Peter looks behind the camera pleadingly. “I’m the receptionist. That’s it. I promise.” He sighs and motions to the camera with his hand. “Trust me, I’m terrible at keeping secrets. If I was as smart as these guys, I wouldn’t shut up about it.” He laughs to himself. “MJ says it’s ‘cause everyone expects men to be smarter than they are. She’s normally right about that kind of stuff.”

* * *

Betty waves Michelle over to her table in the kitchen when she comes in to get a cup of coffee. 

“I saw Spider-Man again this morning,” she whispers over her salad. 

Michelle raises her eyebrows. “Again? That’s the third time this month, Betty.” 

“Yeah, well. Like I said, I started walking to work. I have more time to look around.” She leans in conspiratorily. “He’s always heading towards SI.”

“Don’t tell me you believe Flash.”

Betty laughs and sets her fork down. “I don’t believe him.” She tucks her hair behind her ear and raises her eyebrows at Michelle. “I also don’t _not_ believe him.”

“Betty,” Michelle says, “Spider-Man wouldn’t work at SI. Have you seen the videos of him online? He’s kind of a dumbass.”

The camera pans to the door to the kitchen, where Peter is standing outside and peering in. Seeing the camera move to him, he quickly clears his throat and enters the room. 

“Hey--” His voice comes out as a squeak. He clears his throat again. “Hey, guys.”

“Peter, perfect!” Betty pushes her Tupperware away from herself, giving her more room to talk with her hands. “You talk to Tony all the time--”

“Not all the time,” he mutters. 

Betty ignores him. “Has he said anything to you about Spider-Man?”

Peter straightens immediately and looks to the side. “Oh, well. You know how he is, he’s really secretive about Avengers stuff. All I know is where he is during the workday. Sometimes I figure out where he’s going to eat dinner.” He laughs awkwardly, but quickly swallows it and looks into his empty mug when neither of the women laughs with him. 

“C’mon Peter, we won’t tell anyone.” Michelle raises her eyebrows at him as she pours herself a cup of coffee from the pot. 

“Okay,” he says after a few seconds. He moves his head to the side as he decides what to say. “Okay, but you can’t say anything about it.” 

Betty leans in from where she’s sitting at the table. 

Peter takes a deep breath. “He once said ‘she’ when talking about Spider-Man, so… I think Spider-Man’s a woman.”

He looks into the camera with a slight frown as Betty gasps. 

* * *

“Spider-Man’s not a woman,” Peter says. He cringes and looks at the camera out of the corner of his eye. “Don’t ask me how I know that.”

He rubs his forehead with his hand. “Or why I said that.”

* * *

“Really?” Betty puts her hand over her mouth. “Are you kidding, why hasn’t she said anything? That’d be so empowering for little girls who want to be superheroes!”

Michelle glances into the camera before looking back at Peter, unimpressed. “I don’t buy it. I think Stark was messing with you.” Betty flings her hands into the air and she sighs. “Fine. _If_ Spider-Man is a woman, I respect her for Mulan-ing it.” She shrugs. “Gal’s gotta do what a gal’s gotta do.”

“Her voice is pretty masculine in the videos online though.” Betty puts her chin in her hands for a few seconds before she lights up with an idea. “Oh my God, it was like, super high pitched when she started out, what if Tony made her a voice modulator when he upgraded her suit?”

“It wasn’t--” Peter looks away and sets his mug on the counter. “Wasn’t that high,” he mumbles.

Michelle smirks at him then looks to Betty. “No, Betty, you’re totally right. Don’t tell Flash, or he’ll go even more Spidey-crazy.”

“God, that’s so badass, though.” Betty sighs and leans on her elbows. “I think I’m kind of in love with her.”

“Yeah, well.” Peter nervously laughs and mimes zipping his lips as he starts to open up the door back to the office. “You didn’t hear it from me.”

He leaves to go back to the desk and the camera zooms in on his forgotten mug, still empty.

* * *

“I’m only here because I heard Spider-Man works here.” Flash’s leg is bouncing and his eyes flitter around the room as he speaks. “Graduating from MIT Magna Cum Laude helps a lot, but y’know. Spider-Man’s my top priority. 

“He shows up sometimes. He brought us bagels last month.” He gives the camera a wolfish grin. “Peter and Ned missed out.”

* * *

“Flash already told you about Spider-Man bringing him bagels?” Ned rolls his eyes. “He never shuts up about it.” 

He looks behind the camera and scratches his temple. “I had a flat tire that day so I came in late. And me and Peter, we-- we carpool sometimes, so he wasn’t there either. I don’t mind. I see Spider-Man all the time. I uh-- I think my way home is on one of his patrol routes.” He glances to the side and then returns his gaze to the camera. “And, I mean, Iron Man’s my boss. So I have enough superheroes in my life already.”

* * *

Tony claps his hands as he enters the office. “Mornin’ everyone,” he announces as he continues to walk. “Let’s start off with a quick meeting. Conference room, five minutes.” He starts to enter the conference room but pauses to point a finger at Peter. “You too, Pete.” 

Peter looks up from his desk and nods.

Within a few minutes, everyone has filed into the conference room. Peter’s the last to walk in. He nervously looks for a chair before Michelle gets his attention and moves her jacket from the seat beside her to her lap. Peter smiles and sits down. 

“Alright. Good morning, SI,” Tony starts. He sucks air between his teeth quickly. “I know we don’t normally do these, but I figured I should keep you all in the loop.”

Flash raises his hand. “Is this about--”

Tony clears his throat and waves his hand to cut Flash off. He pointedly glances at Peter, who sits up a bit straighter. “No, this isn’t about Ned’s email. That can continue as normal.”

Peter looks around, but everyone else is nodding. He looks into the camera with a quirked brow for a moment, then looks back at Tony.

“This is regarding a recent threat of violence on SI.” The group looks around and starts to murmur. Tony quiets them by taking off his sunglasses and clearing his throat. “It’s credible, but there’s no need for anyone to worry. Just a few rogue chitauri. I’ve already briefed a few of the Avengers and the day will continue as normal.”

“So why are you telling us this?” Abraham asks from the back row. 

“I figured it’d be better to hear it from me before you see it outside the window.” Tony puts his sunglasses back on and sniffs. “That’s all, be sure to stay inside for lunch. I’ll keep you posted if anything changes.” He glances at Peter, then claps his hands together. “Let’s get to work!” 

Everyone slowly starts to get out of their chairs and head to the door. 

Tony points at Peter as he’s chatting with Michelle on his way out. “Pete, mind helping me change some reservations in my office?”

“Oh,” Peter says as he glances from Michelle to Tony. _“Oh._ Yeah, of course, Mr. Stark. I’ll be right over.” He looks back at Michelle and manages an apologetic smile. “Sorry, MJ. This’ll only take a second.” 

* * *

“I don’t think they’re secret meetings.” Peter rubs his knuckles along his jawline. “It’s just like, what’s the point of everyone being there if he’s just going to tell me that he wants to eat dinner with his wife at 7 o’clock instead of 8?”

* * *

Michelle sighs. “They’re totally secret meetings. Are we supposed to believe that changing reservations over the phone takes half an hour?” 

She looks down and then back to the camera. “If it were just Peter in there, I’d believe that. He’s a nervous wreck. But Stark has enough confidence for the both of them.”

* * *

Liz walks up to the receptionist’s desk where Peter’s typing something into the computer. She’s carrying something behind her back. She waves a hand to get his attention, but he’s focused on the screen. He doesn’t look up until she walks around the desk and is about to tap him on the shoulder. Right before her finger hits his shirt, he flinches and turns around in his seat. 

“Liz!” he yelps. “It’s just you!” He exhales and straightens out his shirt. “Sorry, I’ve been on edge with all this… chitauri stuff.”

She chuckles, a bit surprised by his reaction. “Okay, weirdo.” She walks back to the front of his desk. “I just wanted to say thank you for helping keep the office running smoothly.”

Liz smiles and puts a small potted cactus on the top of the counter. Peter stares at in for a second before responding.

“Is this real?” he asks with wide eyes. 

“Yeah,” she says through a laugh. “Of course, it’s real, Peter. So don’t poke it. And water it once a week! I’ll remind you.”

“Wow, thanks so much, Liz. I somehow inherited May’s black thumb, so I’ve never had a plant of my own before. I hope it doesn’t die!” He screws up his face. “Sorry, that was a really weird thing to say.”

“Yeah, that was kind of a downer.” She smiles at him. “Anyways, enjoy the plant. Thanks again.”

Peter watches as Liz returns to her desk. “You’re… welcome.” 

The camera zooms in on Michelle, who quickly looks away. 

* * *

“Yeah, so I told everyone it was Secretary’s Day today.” Ned runs his hand through his hair. ”I don’t know if that’s true, but I know no one here cares enough to check. Peter’s just been kinda stressed, ‘cause there’s a lot of…” He looks to the side and inhales. “Receptionist jobs that Tony’s been giving him recently. I wanted to do something to cheer him up.”

He waves his hands at the camera. “I promise I’m not being like, weird, or anything. We’ve been friends since high school! We blipped together!”

* * *

Peter’s going through documents when Tony’s door opens and he steps out. He quickly crosses over to the receptionist’s desk. 

“Hey, kid.” Tony puts an envelope on the surface of Peter’s desk and slides it towards him securely. “This is for you. Don’t spend it all in one place.”

Peter looks up from his work, but by the time he focuses on the envelope, Tony already left for his office. He finishes signing the paper he’s on and then grabs the envelope and tears it open. He stares at what’s inside for a few seconds before rushing to Tony’s office. 

“Holy shit, Mr. Stark, did you mean to put this many zeroes?”

* * *

“Yeah, sometimes you forget how rich your boss is when you work here.” Peter looks down and rubs his hand along his thigh. “Rich… and stubborn.” He looks back at the camera. “Anyways, if anyone has any recommendations for charities that aren’t like, corrupt, I have suddenly found myself with some extra cash.”

He looks away and says, almost to himself, “MJ probably knows some good ones.”

* * *

Peter finds Michelle in the break room. She straightens up and tightens her grip on her mug of tea. 

“Oh, Peter, I wanted to say--”

Peter cuts her off. “Wait, are you going to say something nice to me? Because like, that’s cool, but everyone’s been giving me things and complimenting me for no reason today and I’m kind of freaking out.”

“Oh.” She blushes. “Yeah, I was going to.”

“Not that--” Peter blanches. “Not that it’s a bad thing, I’m very grateful, but um, why?”

“Ned sent out an email to everyone that today’s Secretary’s Day? I looked it up, it’s actually in April, but he said you needed a pick-me-up, so…” She looks down at her tea. “Everyone’s been trying to help you feel better.”

Peter averts his eyes to the vending machine. He puts some coins in as he speaks. “Yeah, I guess I’ve been more stressed out than usual recently.” He warily smiles at Michelle. “Mr. Stark can be a lot sometimes.”

Michelle smiles back. “I can imagine. Being a billionaire must be _so_ hard.” 

Peter opens his mouth to speak when Tony rushes in. He has a gauntlet on and his arc reactor is shining through his shirt. Peter instantly turns to face him.

“Hey, kid, time to--” He stops for a second when he sees Michelle sitting in the room. 

He straightens out his shirt and puts his gauntlet behind his back as if that’ll make Michelle forget she saw it. His voice is quiet but tense when he continues. 

“You know those files I needed you to pick up from down the street?” Tony asks pointedly. He flicks his eyes to Michelle and then back to Peter. ”Time to go grab ‘em.” 

He motions his head to the side and then leaves the break room. Peter looks to Michelle, back to where Tony was standing, and finally at the vending machine. Michelle raises her eyebrows at him. 

“Sorry, that’s…” He rubs the back of his neck and shifts his weight from side to side. “Those documents are really time-sensitive, so I gotta go.” He starts to follow Tony. 

Michelle watches his receding form in shock. 

”Get something from the vending machine, on me! There’s like, 75 cents in there already!” he yells behind him. 

She stares at the empty doorframe for a second before flicking her eyes to the camera. After a few beats, she gets up and walks to the vending machine. 

* * *

“Orange soda,” Michelle says, holding up a can. “Thanks for asking. It’d taste weird after my peppermint tea, so I’ll just save it for Peter. He likes ‘em.”

She looks away. “I had to put a few more quarters in to buy it, but he can pay me back later. You know how… exhausting walking down the street and back can be.”

* * *

“Holy shit, Spider-Man’s out there!” Flash yells from the windows by Abraham’s desk. 

“All the Avengers are there, of course Spider-Man’s with them,” Abraham replies. He pushes his chair back so Flash has to dodge out of the way before standing and pushing the blinds aside.

The camera pushes past the group to see a sliver of the window. As it adjusts to the brightness of the sky, a few blurry forms can be seen flying through the air. A few are discernible as Spider-Man and Iron Man. 

Betty walks over from across the room to peer outside. “Wow, Spider-Man really is amazing. I wish I could be bitten by a radioactive spider.”

“I actually read an article that quoted Sam Wilson saying he was born with his powers, not bitten,” Liz added, joining the quickly-forming group at the window. 

“Peter would probably know.” Betty pulls back from the window to look at the receptionist’s desk, which is empty. “Hey, where’s Peter?”

Michelle walks out of the break room with an empty tea mug and a can of soda. “Tony sent him out a few minutes ago, he needed to pick up some documents from down the street or something.” She raises her eyebrows at the camera as she sets the soda down on Peter’s desk. 

“That’s pretty irresponsible of him,” Liz mutters as she watches the fight going on outside.

“Hey, guys?” Ned yells from the other side of the room with a hand over his phone’s microphone. “I’m on a really important phone call right now, do you mind quieting down?”

The others nod and go back to their desks. The camera focuses on Ned’s computer screen, which is open to a webpage about the chitauri. He quickly closes the tab and glares at the camera. 

* * *

“I have a roommate who’s really into D&D.” Ned’s eyes slide to the side. “And now that aliens are real, he wants to implement them into his campaign. That’s why I was looking them up.” 

He snaps his gaze back to the camera. “That’s also who I was talking to on the phone. He just really, really needed to know the chitauri’s weak spot. For his D&D campaign.”

* * *

Peter walks into the office two hours later with his clothes slightly askew. His hair is sticking out more wildly than it normally does and his shoes are scuffed. He groans and rubs his ribs as he sits in his chair. He smiles when he sees the orange soda sitting on his desk and looks over to Michelle, who’s already on her way over. 

She leans on the counter. “So, did a bus run you over once you picked up those documents, or…”

“No,” Peter says stiffly, “I actually got caught up in the fight. Crazy, right? Thank God Mr. Stark was there, he found me a safe place to hide until it was safe.” He chuckles and looks away.

“Right,” Michelle repeats, “crazy.”

“Um, anyways.” Peter bites the inside of his cheek and looks up at Michelle. “Mr. Stark’s taking the rest of the day off, so we can totally leave early if you want.”

Michelle looks over her shoulder at her desk. “Oh, I don’t know, I have so many models to render.” She looks back at Peter and smiles. “Let me grab my coat and we can walk down together.”

* * *

“MJ’s great.” Peter rubs his torso and looks squarely at the camera. “She’s awesome. Sometimes I catch her looking at me and… I don’t know.”

_As Peter talks, the camera cuts to a scene from earlier in the day. Everyone is crowded around the window trying to catch a peek of one of the Avengers. Michelle is sitting at her desk and staring at the can of soda on Peter’s desk._

He chuckles sardonically. “Who’s got time for some random receptionist, right?”

* * *

“Which car is yours?” Peter has his hands deep in the pockets of his winter coat. 

Michelle points across the parking lot. “The blue one over there.”

“Thank you for saying the color, I know nothing about cars,” Peter jokes. 

They smile at each other for a second before Peter’s smile falls. Michelle’s follows suit. 

“Um, listen, MJ.” Peter pulls his hands out of his pockets and rubs his shoulder. “I’m…” He trails off for a second and lets himself stare at Michelle. She looks back at him expectantly. 

The camera zooms out; they’re alone in the parking lot.

Peter snorts and looks away, unfreezing from his position. “Uh, I just wanted to thank you for the soda.”

Michelle smiles at him. “Anytime. Happy Secretary’s Day.” 

“Am I actually a secretary? Are secretaries different than receptionists?” Peter asks as he shoves his hands back into his pockets. 

“Boh,” is Michelle’s only response. 

Peter grins at her. “Well said.” He looks down at his feet for a second. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Okay, MJ?”

She smiles and shrugs halfheartedly. “Maybe. Depends on if my apartment got destroyed or not.”

“I’m sure it’s okay.” He gives her a sarcastic salute. “Adiós.” 

Michelle snorts. “Bye, loser.”

* * *

Michelle looks down from the camera and sighs. After a few moments, she looks back into the lens. 

“Yeah, of course I know he’s Spider-Man. Him, Ned, and Stark are really obvious.” Her gaze moves to behind the camera and she gives a small, soft smile. “He’s sweet, though. His secret’s safe with me.”


	2. Stark's Tots

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Tony Stark promised an entire graduating class that they’d be able to work at SI once they left high school.” Peter checks his watch. “And they just graduated.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I bet you thought I wasn't going to add anymore to this AU! (Probably because I said that I wasn't going to add anymore to this AU)  
> As a wise man once said, "Never say never."

“He normally likes plain cheese, but will sometimes get pepperoni after a long day. He told me the reason once, something about the extra protein.”

Peter huffs out a laugh as his eyes move to slightly to the left of the camera. “Are people really interested in what type of pizza Mr. Stark likes?” There’s a short pause as he raises his eyebrows. “Never change, New York.”

Peter smiles slightly stiffly at the camera for a few moments before relaxing into a neutral expression. The camera rises and falls, ending at a slightly off-kilter angle. 

“We good?” he asks, then nods at something just out of frame. “Thanks, I’ve got some stuff to shred.”

Peter’s watch beeps loudly as he’s standing up from the chair. He stares at it with his eyebrows crinkled. The camera quickly refocuses. 

“Sorry, this is just a…” He licks his lips and snaps his eyes to the camera before looking back to his watch. “Some work thing. It’s not anything weird, I promise.”

His watch beeps again. He rubs his forehead. “Except it’s actually kind of important, so I’ve gotta go. Like, now.”

“Don’t follow me, please,” he adds, pointing a finger at the camera. 

* * *

Peter rushes past Michelle and Ned, who are chatting as they come back from eating out for lunch. 

“Could use your help with some web design, Ned!” he calls as he pushes through the door with his hip. 

Ned stops mid-sentence and blinks at him. “Of course!” he responds, but the door just clatters shut in response. Michelle turns slowly to him. 

“Sorry,” Ned says to Michelle’s raised eyebrows. “He’s really bad with all that… stuff. I help him out.”

Michelle tilts her head to the side. “You know I minored in graphic design, right? I can help you both.”

“Oh yeah, that’s totally right.” Ned laughs quickly. “I think this will only take one person, though. But like, I will 100% come to you next time.”

She hums. “Just something to think about. For the next time he needs some help with… web design.”

“Right. Web design,” Ned says dumbly as Michelle’s gaze starts to border on a glare. 

Her eyes flick towards the camera once Ned starts walking back to his desk. 

* * *

Michelle sighs and looks into the camera. “I  _ did  _ minor in graphic design for undergrad. I like to do illustrations. Portraits, mostly. Peter thinks they’re good.”

She covers one side of her face with a hand as a small smile tugs at her lips. “Web design. I just got it. They’re so obvious. Wow.”

* * *

“It’s Spider-Man!” Flash yells from a window in the conference room. The camera zooms past him to see a familiar flash of red and blue. 

“We’ve already seen him this week, Flash.” Liz says, placing a file on Ned’s desk as he talks on the phone. She walks over to the conference room and leans on the door jamb. “It’s not that impressive anymore.”

Flash puts a hand on his chest and gasps dramatically. “On behalf of all New Yorkers, I take offense to that. I really do.”

“Cry me a river,” Liz retorts with a smile. She starts to leave but instead clicks her tongue and points at Flash. “Or, better yet, get me your expense reports for this quarter.”

Flash sighs. “You said I have ‘till Thursday!” He turns around to look at Liz but freezes when he sees Tony Stark peering through the doorframe where she was just standing. 

“Afternoon, Flash.” Tony’s holding a steaming coffee mug. He takes a sip from it as he walks over to the window next to Flash and widens the blinds with his free hand. “Oh, good. He’s got that handled.”

Flash chews on his lip as Tony continues to watch Spider-Man fight. “How often do  _ you  _ see Spider-Man, sir?”

“Oh, I like  _ sir,”  _ he says cooly, taking another sip from his mug. “Spider-Man and I see each other every once in a while. I’m a big fan, you see, so I try not to miss any fights. I jump in when he needs it.”

The blinds make a metallic rustle as they settle into place when Tony leans back. “You can keep an eye on him for this one. Let me know if he needs some backup.” Tony claps his hand on Flash’s shoulder before taking another sip of coffee. 

“Of course, sir. It would be an honor,” Flash stammers. 

“Make sure he doesn’t get his webs tangled.” Tony starts to leave. “And get your expense reports in.”

Flash nods aggressively as Tony leaves the room. He grins at the camera once he’s alone. 

* * *

“I have a few hundred ways to keep tabs on our friendly arachnid, the least trustworthy of which are my own eyes.” Tony takes off his tinted glasses and starts to wipe them with the hem of his shirt. ”Flash is currently experiencing the illusion of power. If anything actually happened, I would be notified before he could look away from the window.” He sighs. ”I’m getting older and technology keeps advancing. What a cruel world. Next thing I know, they’ll be telling me Iron Man is bad for my joints.”

He puts his glasses back on and blinks at the camera. “Which is true, of course. I may as well pick an heir to the throne now.”

* * *

Peter comes into the office briskly, running a hand through his hair after he spots his reflection. He side-eyes the camera as he goes to sit at his desk. He spends a few moments clicking through his tabs before he sharply gasps and stands back up. 

The camera pans to Michelle, who’s watching Peter warily as he knocks at the door of Tony’s office and walks in. She levels the camera with a cool stare as she walks to Peter’s desk and leans over the edge casually. She snorts and walks back to her desk. 

“You’ll have to ask Peter about it,” she tells the camera, pushing her hair behind her ear. “It’s a long story.”

* * *

“Yeah, so this all happened before I was hired, so I’m a little fuzzy on the details.” Peter scratches the side of his head and flicks his eyes behind the camera. “Basically, Tony said some things he shouldn’t have about a local private school. So he made a deal with them to make up for it. No biggie, right?”

He chuckles and looks at the camera head-on. “Long story short, he promised an entire class high-paying jobs at SI when they graduated high school.” His laugh tapers off, leaving a small grin. “When I say class, I don’t mean one class.”

“Tony Stark promised an entire graduating class that they’d be able to work at SI once they left high school.” Peter checks his watch. “And they just graduated.”

He bites his lip and looks down at his lap. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be laughing. This is terrible.”

* * *

Tony sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. 

“I had bad PR. I solved it. I don’t see what the big deal is.” He rubs his cheek and then drops his hand down to his lap. “If I had Pep on my team back then, it never would have happened in the first place. But she has made it clear that I’m on my own for this one. It’s an easy fix. I’m just going to pay for their college tuitions instead. Drop in the barrel.”

He sniffs sharply. “Peter’s joining me. We’ll see if he still thinks it’s funny at the end of the day.”

* * *

Tony comes out of his office and slips on his tinted glasses. He looks warily at the group forming in the bullpen. 

“Okay, everyone. Peter and I are heading out to take care of this. No need for gossip,” he says, motioning for Peter to get ready. 

Liz looks over from where she’s leaning on Michelle’s desk. “We were just wondering how many new coworkers we should be expecting,” she says, scratching her temple with a small smile. 

“Yeah,” Betty adds from across from her. “Shouldn’t half of them be hired by now?”

Tony waves his hand at the group. “This is the half that didn’t get blipped. I’ll deal with the other half in five years.” His hand freezes. “And that’s not the point. It’s handled. Get back to work.”

“I don’t know, Tony.” Michelle turns to face him. “I really think seeing Iron Man would help lessen the blow.”

She glances over at Peter, who grins at her from behind his desk where he’s putting on his shoulder bag. 

“That’s not gonna happen.” Tony follows Michelle’s line of sight and claps his hands together. “Because I’m getting Spider-Man to show up.”

The group erupts in chatter. The camera zooms in on Peter, whose grin has dropped. 

“Wait,” Flash almost yells from next to Betty. “Does this mean Peter gets to hang out with Spider-Man all day?”

The corner of Tony’s mouth twitches. “Yeah, maybe. Just gotta call in a few favors. Pete, what do you think?”

“Yeah, I mean.” Peter scratches the back of his head with one hand and adjusts his bag’s strap with the other. “I love Spider-man. I’m a, uh-- Total web-head. So it’ll be cool to, y’know. Finally meet him.”

He smiles awkwardly at the group, who’s still looking at him expectantly. He flicks his eyebrows up at someone off camera. 

Ned coughs loudly. “Did I tell you guys about the time when I saw Spider-Man totally throw up?”

Everyone swivels to look at Ned, who’s across the room from Peter. Ned glances at the camera and blanches. 

“Yeah, I think he was uh…” Ned trails off and makes eye contact with Peter. “Drunk! He must have been really drunk.”

Peter clears his throat. Loudly. 

“Not that he’s a drunk! I think he was just partying one night or something. Just a random night. A Friday, I think.”

Liz puts her hand up to stop Ned. She looks over her shoulder towards the reception desk. “Peter, do you need a cough drop?”

Peter pauses mid-cough and blushes. “No, I’m good-- fine. I’m fine. Just choked on my spit. I guess I was just  _ surprised _ that Spider-Man was  _ in the suit drunk.”  _

Everyone looks back at Ned, who has his mouth still partially open. 

“Oh, look at that. Happy just texted.” Tony puts his phone back in his pocket and purses his lips. “I’ll be in the car, kid.”

Peter stares at Ned as he follows Tony out of the room. “I’m right behind you.”

The camera zooms in on Ned close enough to see a small bead of sweat tracing his brow.

* * *

“Yeah, apparently Ned saw Spider-Man throw up after being poisoned by some criminal with a blowdart.” Flash huffs out a laugh. “Does he seriously expect us to believe that?”

He rolls his eyes. “Like Spider-Man would let himself get poisoned. Ned probably just saw some drunk in a red shirt.”

* * *

Michelle has both hands on either side of her head, her hair sticking out from between her fingers. 

“How does no one else know,” she says, almost to herself.

* * *

“I’m not comfortable with being on camera,” Happy says, eyeing the cameras through the rearview mirror. His voice is only slightly louder than the sound of the rumbling engine. 

Tony clicks his tongue. “Relax, you big baby.” He turns around in his chair to look at the camera directly. “Head of security. He’s a little insecure.”

Happy sighs. “Sorry about this, Peter.”

The divider between the front and back seats slides up into position. 

The camera pans to Peter in the other seat. It zooms on the opening of his shoulder bag, where the slightest hint of red fabric can be seen. 

Peter moves the bag to in between his feet. He looks at the camera disapprovingly. 

* * *

“I just realized something,” Flash says, apropos of nothing. 

Liz sighs and looks over to him from her desk. “Did it hurt?”

“No. That’s rude.” Flash frowns at her, then motions over to Tony’s open office door with his chin. “Tony’s gone. We can totally check out his office.”

“I’m 90% sure he has FRIDAY shoot anyone who goes in there with a laser,” Liz says, but still walks over to lean on Flash’s desk. 

Michelle spins her chair around to join the conversation. “Last I checked, we’re developing green energy, not lasers.”

“He wouldn’t let his employees design the security for his office,” Liz retorts.

“I’m just saying, I only went in there to sign my job contract.” Flash throws his hand out towards the door. ”How often does a chance like this happen? This is the first time I’ve seen it left open!”

Liz smirks. “You’re just jealous that Peter gets to go in there all the time.”

“Peter may have seen what it looks like, but I bet he hasn’t sat in Tony’s chair,” Flash says with his eyes narrowed competitively. 

Michelle raises her eyebrows. “Flash, he’s the CEO of a Fortune 500 company. You really think you can sit in his chair without him noticing?” 

“I’m smart.” Flash runs a hand through his hair. “And bored. This just went to the top of my priority list.”

Michelle says nothing, but side-eyes the camera. 

* * *

“The office gets pretty boring without Peter here.” Michelle glances down at her hands before looking back at the camera. “Tony, too. It’s strange how accustomed we are to putting up with superhero drama. When we get a day of just working, we all go a little stir crazy.”

* * *

Flash is typing furiously into his computer. He notices the camera and straightens his back, but continues to type faster than usual. 

Liz walks behind his chair, glancing quickly at his screen. “Expense reports,” she mutters.

“After I finish this,” Flash snaps, smoothing down his hair with one hand.

* * *

Ned jolts when he sees the camera right outside the bathroom as he walks out. He shuffles awkwardly to the side. He nods at Michelle, who’s sitting at the table near the fridge. 

“You need to be better,” she says, not looking up from her newspaper. 

Ned laughs nervously. “What?”

“Be better.” Michelle looks up and locks eyes with him. “Web design? All the phone calls? The looks? Do you want everyone to know?”

“I don’t know what you mean.” Ned goes to leave for his desk. “I think you have me confused for someone else.”

“Ned.” He freezes with his hand on the door, refusing to look back at her. “I’m on your side.”

He sighs and turns around. “Great weather we’re having. I thought we’d still have a lot of rain, but the sun’s starting to come out more often.”

Michelle looks back down at her paper. “You have my number.”

Ned nods. Then shakes his head. Then he spins on his heel and leaves. 

* * *

Tony’s walking towards the entrance of a brick building as he chats with the camera. He has a familiar shoulder bag slung over one arm. 

“Here’s the school,” he says, motioning to the building with one hand. “I sent Peter off to do some solo work in the city. He’d get bored if he had to stay with me all day.”

He pauses right outside the front doors and turns around, looking slightly up. “And any minute now…” 

After a few seconds, Tony points behind the cameras. They pan around just in time to see Spider-Man swinging in from around the corner. “There’s the man of the hour.”

Spider-Man skids to a stop and jogs up to Tony. 

“Hey, Mr. Stark.” He nods to the camera crew. “Guys.”

Tony slings an arm around Spider-Man’s shoulders and smiles at the camera. “I warned him about the doc crew, but I’ll get you guys some updated NDA’s just in case you see anything you shouldn’t. Wouldn’t want dear ol’ Spidey’s identity broadcasted to all of his loving fans.” He turns his head to make eye contact with Spider-Man. “Though it’s the unloving ones we have to worry about.” He motions to the door with his free hand. “Spiders first?”

They enter the school, and just as the camera adjusts to the change in lighting, a woman is already talking to them. 

“Hello gentlemen, I’m Mikela Lasker. It’s so nice to meet you in person, Mr. Stark. And Spider-Man, we are so grateful you could join us for this event.”

“Tony, please,” Tony says smoothly. Mikela nods at him, then looks at Spider-Man. 

He clears his throat before talking. “It’s my pleasure, ma’am. Kids are our future.”

She nods and turns her head, starting to walk away. Tony smirks at Spider-Man when the woman can’t see. Spider-Man shrugs as they start to follow her. 

“Did you get the schedule we faxed to you this morning?” she asks, still leading them down the hall. 

Tony raises his eyebrows at Spider-Man, whose eye lenses narrow and flick downward. Tony follows his gaze to the bag on his arm and opens it. After a second of rummaging, he pulls out a paper. 

“Yes, my assistant--” Spider-Man coughs into his elbow. “--that is to say, one of my employees gave it to me this morning,” Tony says. 

Mikela nods. “Excellent. So you know we only have a few minutes for you to go on stage and speak.” She looks back at Tony with a warm smile. “It’s called the Tony Stark Auditorium.”

“Oh, wow.” Tony smiles and turns to look at Spider-Man. “They named an auditorium after me.” He looks back at Mikela. “You’ll have to excuse him, he gets jealous about these types of things. Having a secret identity means no one can name places after you. It’s a real bummer for him.”

“No, I--” Spider-Man sighs. “I don’t care about having stuff named after me.” Mikela looks back at him with eyebrows drawn together. “Not that naming stuff after someone isn’t awesome! That’s super cool of you guys.”

She nods lightly and continues to walk. Tony grins widely at Spider-Man, who shoves his arm lightly. After a few more seconds, they all arrive at a set of double doors. 

“Alright,” Mikela says, turning around to address them all. “I’ll take Spider-Man and Tony backstage now.” She looks at the camera warily before moving her gaze to behind it. “Do you mind staying in the audience?”

The camera moves up and down. She opens the doors. 

* * *

Flash drops a file onto Liz’s desk. 

“This quarter’s expense report.” He juts his chin out. 

Liz spins her chair to look at him, eyebrows raised. “I’m impressed, Flash. Thank you.”

She spins back to her computer, but Flash keeps standing there impatiently. She sighs and looks over at him again. 

“Was there something else?” she asks. 

Flash leans closer to her. “I totally figured out a way to sit at Tony’s desk without him knowing.”

She looks back to her computer and waves him off. “Tell it to your blog,” she mutters.

* * *

Betty yawns, covering her mouth with a hand. She smiles at Michelle as she enters the break room. Michelle looks up from her sandwich to smile back. 

“Tired?” Michelle asks from where she’s sitting. 

Betty starts to put a few coins into the vending machine. “Yeah, I didn’t sleep enough last night. Mondays, right?”

“Mhmm.” 

* * *

There’s immense applause as soon as Tony Stark steps onto the stage of the high school auditorium. 

“Hello!” he says as the clapping tapers off, one hand held up in a peace sign. “Sorry I didn’t bring the suit, but I can do you one better.” He pauses dramatically. ”Is anyone here from Queens?”

The audio caps out with the volume of the applause as Spider-Man swings in from stage right. He skids to a stop right beside Tony and waves jerkily. The two men motion for the other to use the microphone at the same time. Tony chuckles and leads Spider-Man to the mic by pressing a hand between his shoulder blades. 

“Uh, hi,” Spider-Man says into the microphone, cringing at the echo. “It’s nice to meet you all.”

The audience is silent, waiting for more, but Spider-Man just nods and takes a step away from the mic. They applaud again, with slightly less enthusiasm. 

Tony steps back up to the mic. “Let’s hear it for our friendly neighborhood Spider-Man!” The audience slowly begins to clap again. After a few seconds, Tony clears his throat and starts to read from a paper sitting on the podium in front of him.

“No use delaying the inevitable,” he says, to some confused sounds from the crowd. “It has come to my understanding that ten years ago, I promised all of you full-time employment at Stark Industries.”

The audience applauds with renewed vigor. Tony grimaces. 

* * *

Flash walks by Liz’s desk. “I totally did it.”

“No you didn’t.” She rolls her eyes.

* * *

Tony checks his beeping watch and frowns. “Sorry. Work thing.”

He looks back to the audience. 

“Now, I can’t--” He’s interrupted by the sound of a bell blasting through the auditorium speakers. Spider-Man flinches while Tony motions to someone off stage. He makes a few hand gestures before leaning back into the mic. 

“Double period, huh? We didn’t have those at my high school.” He clears his throat, the sound amplified through the microphone. “Anyways, back to what I was saying.” He grimaces again and rubs his eyebrow. When he speaks, it’s slightly rushed. ”On behalf of Stark Industries, I regret to inform you that we are not accepting job applications nor do we have any planned hirings at this time.”

As Tony reaches the end of his sentence, the crowd starts to mutter to each other. 

“What do you mean?” someone yells from near the back of the auditorium. 

Tony clears his throat and leans back near the mic. “What I mean is that none of you will be working at Stark Industries.” He frowns at the paper in front of him, deliberately not looking at the audience. “While we recognize that some of you may have been preparing for this opportunity, it is with a heavy--” He cuts himself off with a sigh and crumples the paper with his fist. “Okay, I’m going off book.”

Spider-Man’s eye apertures widen as Tony steps out from behind the podium, taking the mic with him. 

“Look, you wanted to work at SI. I get it. It’s an awesome place to be.” He looks at the audience for a reaction, but they’re frozen in shock. “But the world doesn’t give you what you want. You should start getting used to that now.”

A commotion starts to spread in the audience, so Tony raises his hands placatingly. 

“But I get it. You’re young, you don’t know how the world works yet. I’ve been there. Which is why I’m giving you…” he looks over his shoulder and motions to Spider-Man, who goes over to the podium and starts patting his hands against the surface as if it was a drum. “The Tony Stark Scholarship!”

Crickets. The camera zooms in on Tony’s face, which is wearing a fragile smile. 

Tony tries again, opening his arms wide. “I’m paying for your college tuition!”

The audience still doesn’t react. Tony clears his throat awkwardly. 

“Now, I can’t cover housing or meal plans, but--”

Suddenly, one student starts to boo. After a few moments, the rest of them start to join in. Spider-Man looks like he’s getting ready to jump into the rafters above the stage. 

Tony shakes his head and paces downstage. “Hey, hey, hey!”

The audience stops jeering to hear what he has to say. Tony pulls his phone out of his pocket. 

“I’ll let you follow my personal instagram!”

The booing comes back twice as loud. 

* * *

The car is utterly silent. Happy’s nowhere to be seen: the car’s being driven by Tony with Peter in the passenger seat. Peter turns around in his seat to face the camera. 

“Spider-Man told me what happened.” He spares a glance at Tony as he turns back to face the front. “Sounds pretty rough, Mr. Stark.”

Tony curls his lip. “Rough doesn’t begin to cover it, kid. That crowd was ruthless.”

“Yeah.” Peter fiddles with the sleeve of his shirt. “I heard.”

There’s a few moments of silence as both of them watch the road.

“I wanted to make an impact on those kids,” Tony says, almost to himself. “I thought I’d have a new floor for them to work at, or a new building, or… something.”

Peter looks down at his lap. “You know, Mrs. Lasker said that 90% of those students are on track to graduate, which was a 35% increase from last year. If you hadn’t made that promise, a lot of them would have dropped out.” He shrugs. ”It’s something to think about.”

Tony glances at the camera through the rearview mirror, then looks at Peter out of the corner of his eye. 

“Flash snuck into my office half an hour ago,” Tony says, after a few moments of silence. 

Peter snorts. “What? What did he even do in there?”

“He just sat in my chair for a few seconds and then left.” Tony smiles at Peter. “FRI sent me a text while I was up there.”

“That’s awesome.” Peter laughs and rubs his face with one hand. “I’m never going to let him hear the end of that.”  
Tony eyes the camera again before hitting his turn signal and starting to turn. Peter gets his phone out of his pocket and starts to mess around on it. 

After a few seconds of silence, Tony speaks again. 

“I’m glad to have you as an employee, Pete.”

Peter looks up from his phone and laughs awkwardly, glancing at the camera. “Um, yeah. It’s good to be a part of the team, sir.”

Tony lightly grabs Peter’s shoulder and squeezes it once before moving his hand back to the wheel. 

* * *

“Yeah, it was a fun day.” Peter raises his hand against his forehead to block the light of the setting sun from where he’s standing outside the SI building. “I got to do some stuff downtown that’s been on my to-do list for a while. So, it feels good to finally get that done with.”

He runs his knuckles along his jaw. “There’s not much else I can say about it.” He shrugs, then laughs softly. ”Just a normal day at Stark Industries.”

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Yell at me on tumblr: [spider-beep.tumblr.com](spider-beep.tumblr.com)!


End file.
